The Phases

I was delaying this, perhaps because either was I too lazy, busy or unprepared to write about it.

A great piece of the analysis I have made before lies beforehand in the corners of my mind, but at least this will be a worthy try.

In the past have I tried to analyze the situations that at some extension comes while a heart is suffering.
Of course, this information is completely biased towards particular experiences.

Likeness, Feelings, Relationships... yes sure its a path, but here about the end of the chain let me write about.

Causes of these don't really matter, the end of it is similar in many ways, in some its better and light in others its heavy and distressful. The consequence is simple and my case study: End.

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First Phase: Negation
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Symptoms: Distress, Anxiety, Fight..
Phrase: Should I?.
~Time: 1 week

Its just difficult to believe. And even if the mind tries, it become a burden it is still not prepared to carry. The body is uttermost affected by it.
The classical scene depicts the image in cartoons where the character makes a hole in the floor, because of walking so much.... this walking is full of anxiety, trying to figure it out, whether fault and responsibility lies within ourself or other heart.

This is a particularly weak phase in analysis and many decisions are taken by heart, not that I have anything against it, but heart must not only feel but also think, from its own perspective in the sense of fast thought.
- Should I call her?.
- But it was not all my fault...
- Perhaps it was a little bit
- Shall I call her?.

Then the sound of a heartbeat just breaks the enchantment and you find yourself dialing...
Concentration its at its worse, the heart fill the mind with intense memories of the best moments, daydreaming its just a strong symptom. Concentration?... mmm 30%?. The paradoxy is that the concentration you need to put into some other things is the one that will at the end transfer your mind to the next stage.

Dreams are also intense, un-restful, heartbeats increase their rate in an even dangerous manner.
This stage is the worst of them all, very painful, energy draining and time consuming. Thank God it only lasts for 1 week.

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Second Phase: Acceptance
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Symptoms: Thoughtfulness, Analysis, resignation
Phrase: What if?.
~Time: 2 Weeks

Things have come to a stage in which there seems there is no place to go back.
Sometimes the wonder if you did make all the things you could have done, fight immerse deeply in your mind.

This could be called the connecting phase. Still heart is greatly attached and within grasping the sense of solitude it slowly start accepting what the mind is telling it.

Some showers of feelings-driven actions may arise during this phase, as human heart is by means the strongest invisible force on the face of the earth, for whatever it may be... love, desire, greed. So on.

A small percentage of things can be solved and returned to "normal" during the first phase, but should the matter be serious, this stage is the critical one, not for our senses, but for the time drift that separates beings. Board a single boat or stay in the harbour of company.

It is uttermost important to make a decision, because after the storm the calm comes... and that is a really steady one.

What at the beginning were shared dreams, still are, but will not be for long. That's when the analysis of the self being counters the situation, allowing our mind to extrapolate itself from its current state, finding new paths which will enable the upcoming separation.

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Third Phase: Forgetfulness
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Symptoms: Remembrance, security, stability, tranquility.
Phrase: Life is short Lets move on..
~Time: 1-3 months

The most awaited moment, yet the one that last the longest. This is not an isolated process, remains of previous phases actively roam around mind and heart.
Security comes from the sense of having done everything you could on previous moments, stability inspires your mind to concentrate in bearing the diminishing yet upcoming mixing of feelings and reasoning.
Human beings looking for happiness, many times the only place where they can get close to it its through tranquility, where nirvana just fills you in a paradoxic instant of time that from hair to tummy refreshes your energy and issues a gently soft set of tickling sensation.

Memories of past are safeguarded in the most hidden places within our brain. Though our heart may have closed its doors from the negation phase, here its only when it comes to terms with itself, not being unknowingly selfish enough to prevent its healing.

Like after monsoon, small drops come into your dreams, yet to remind you of the value and not the difficulty that the endurance posses. I still see her, clearly as ever, appearing, moving, speaking... sad, happy... completely lasting moment like a rose that is fastly withering, yet there is such loveliness enclosed to let it fade away.

It just heals, may not be a fast process, may take even months or years.
Courage stays within, after so many things experienced in life. Questions become answers.
Resentment dissolves in the air, fresh breeze tenderly touch the cheeks of your future.

Am I open enough?. May one never know, but everything must be done for, as per beautiful persons are always unforgettable, life goes on.

But we are, and we had, have and will become, one thanks to what those everlasting experiences from valuable beings inscribed in our most deep self being.

......
END

Planet is yet so vast at the same time so small. May this letters compose useful words.

Important Note:
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This was written not at the start, not at the end of events, but rather just after entering the second phase and in the middle of third. So words may not express all the feelings and experiences in complete untouchable and unexposed, candid manner.